Right now, I’m watching Twilight.  Funny how I”ll watch movies over and over again that I don’t really feel strongly about.  I know a lot of people will hate me for this, but I don’t quite get the big fuss over the movie.  This might sound funny because I have all the books and the movie, which I watch repeatedly.  It’s not that I dislike the Twilight.  It’s all right.  It’s just for me, it’s a “comfort” movie, one that I put in just to have noise in the background and forget about.

One could argue that there really isn’t much of anything I feel strongly about anyway, except maybe Jim and a couple others.   And, of course, my cats.  I feel bad admitting this, but there are people I used to talk to and really like a lot, and when we drifted apart, it just didn’t bother me.  I know that sounds awful, but it’s the truth.  I care a lot about people, I’ll worry about them and all that crap, but if they go away, that’s just fine by me.  I don’t know why I’m like that.

OH.  When I mentioned my cats in that last paragraph, I remembered this AWFUL dream I had last night.  In my dream, I had all the cats I’ve ever had:  Tigger and Kili (who are now dead), Gypsy (have no idea what happened to her), Ash (who my ex gave to a friend of ours without my knowledge and then lied about it to me, telling me that the cat had run away), Piper and Emmy–the two who are now with me and Jim. 

Okay, so now that you’ve had the cat rundown, in the dream, I had a gun and was told I had to shoot them.  I don’t remember why, but it was “shoot them to save them” kind of thing that is only logical in dreamworld.  I shot Tigger and Kili, but my hands were trembling so bad because of the horror of it, they didn’t die.  In fact, they seemed all right, just hurt.  I started to cry and begged the mysterious, invisible person who was making me do this.  I insisted that maybe we didn’t really need to shoot them to save them.  Maybe we could reverse what I had just done.  I looked at Kili, who rolled a little on his back and looked up at me with big, round eyes.  His stomach was shaved, just like it was in his last days from the constant visits to the vets before I lost him to pancreatic cancer.  Emmy huddled near by him.  I couldn’t imagine losing her, too.

God, it was awful.

Okay, enough about depressing dreams.  Normally, I’m not alone on Thursday nights, but apparently, they changed the schedule at Jim’s work on him.  Last night, he was supposed to go in 1 AM, but he got a call at 10:20 PM right when were in the middle of watching an episode of Angel.  So that sucked, especially because Jim has been sleeping a lot earlier this week (hence, why I’ve been able to do so much leveling on Warcraft lately), so I had been looking forward to spending time with him.  I guess I’ll have to wait until tomorrow night, although I know he’s going to be busy with his new toys.

Which brings me to the new thing around here:  Jim is obsessed with Space Marines.  I call them his “little army guys,” which, apparently, Jim’s boss finds humorous.  Jim’s obsession is evident on my desktop: He has a wallpaper of one with a caption that says I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over how awesome I am.  He and his boss (who is also a very good friend of Jims) have decided they’re going to start playing Warhammer 40k .  I’ve already been advised that this is going to happen on Wednesdays–okay, not “advised” because Jim always asks if things are okay with me first–but playing the game won’t happen for quite some time.  Turns out all those little shits have to be painted.  Sometimes, I just don’t get the whole “gaming” world.  See, to me, that sounds like work, not fun.  How is that a game?  Warcraft, I can deal with: I point, I click or hit a button, I kill or get killed.  Okay, it’s not quite that simplistic, but I play games to relax, not do more work.  Still, I support Jim if he wants to do this.  As a consequence, I have little army guys stripped down to their little white butts around my apartment, waiting for Jim’s paints to arrive.

(Okay, I exaggerate.  Clothing doesn’t appear to be optional on these guys.  Which, SEE?  Less fun.)

Well, the pills I took earlier are making me drowsy, and frankly, I was oddly exhausted today, so I think I’d like to get a little extra sleep tonight.  I think I just bored myself sleepy.